Reconciliation seeks to restore a relationship without denying a past event-in this case, an addiction to child pornography. In this situation, if you can honestly say that you want for this neighbor what God wants for him (accepting a share in divine life), then you have already forgiven him, perhaps without realizing it. I can forgive someone who may yet die clueless and in denial. Forgiveness is not a favor shown by an innocent party toward a guilty party. In fact, forgiveness is one-sided I can forgive someone who shows no remorse for what he or she has done. Your support may, in fact, eventually help this man.Īlthough forgiveness and reconciliation are very different things, many people use those terms interchangeably. What you are now doing to help support this man’s family emotionally is almost certainly having a benefit beyond what you can now see. Yes, this situation is incredibly shocking and very difficult to handle. How do I forgive when the sin is so great? I realize better than before how powerful addictions can be-and how selfish and self-absorbed we individuals can be, especially when we don’t consider our family members.Īs more of his story comes out, I’m finding it hard to forgive him. I pray that the years he has spent devoted to Jesus-and I truly believe he was devoted-will help him in jail. In many ways, this has shaken the roots of my own spirituality as I watch his family trying to deal with this. We are now helping his family in every way that we can and are praying for them. He hid this sin from everyone, including his family. I’ve known him and his beautiful family since they moved into our neighborhood I had considered him a pillar of the community. My neighbor of many years was recently arrested for viewing child pornography.
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